"My mother was from the north... she was a performer in a circus, a lot like this one- its how she and my father met. I can't always remember her face, but I know she was beautiful. She had hair like mine, but her eyes were the color of the sea, and her skin was white and perfect. My father talked about her, sometimes, in some of his moods. I managed to piece together their story. When they met, my father was still a good magician- one of the best. He was feckless and wild, and I think he must have been handsome then, in his own way. Audiences loved him. He knew how to make them love him- and he loved them. My mother was an acrobat and dancer, and she soon became my fathers assistant. The audience loved her, too. And my father loved her very much, I know he did. Even despite all she did later, when he talked about her, I could tell he loved her still. I don't think she ever really, truly loved him- maybe she did. But I think she just wanted what she thought he could give her. Fame, and excitement. But all he really had was himself. He couldn't succeed as an act on his own, he had to be with a circus to make it work. He didn't have a good head for business. They married, and were happy at first. my father settled down, and began to save a little money, but when I came along, the circus wouldn't keep my mother, and so father decided to try to set up on his own. Jericho helped him, he left the circus to come along. My father tried hard, I know he did- but it was for nothing. He managed to get enough good equipment- all I have now was his." "What happened?" Julian looked perplexed. "he didn't have what it took to manage. Maybe he could have on his own... But had us to care for, and my mother didn't help- she was bitter when she realized the life she had hoped for could never be, and I think- Well, I don't think her mind was right. I could be wrong. And then..." Lidi broke off. " Julian looked at her, his green eyes gentle. "Then?" He prodded gently. "I had a little sister." Lidi said softly. "She was beautiful and perfect, and everything I wasn't." Julian frowned, and was about to speak, but Lidi went on. "By the time she was 5 years old she could sing like a lark, and dance- and tell stories. She was so little, but when she told a story you believed it. Simple as that. She brought to life every character. My mother loved her best, and I don't blame her. Everyone loved her... I loved her." Lidi paused for a long moment. "And then one day they left. And my father was- broken. I don't think he ever thought she would go. I had already started to learn most of the tricks, and my father kept on teaching me, even after... " She stopped again, a flicker of old pain in her eyes. Julian's face had darkened. She looked up at him. "He did love me, Julian. Don't think too harshly of him. In spite of everything, I know he really did. And he needed me."
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