Search This Blog

Monday, April 20, 2015

Chapter 1- Meeting the cousins

Chapter 1/continuation of the prologue which was actually the beginning of chapter 1...



some hours later...

The girls slept through most of the flight, surprisingly, and when they woke up it was almost time to land. Eva began panicking again the moment her eyes opened. Maria was used to Eva and calmly led the way off the plane, and through security.

As they entered the waiting area, they immediately noticed two dark haired, bespectacled young men and an equally dark haired girl. They hesitated a moment, before one of the guys began waving happily at them, a huge, crooked grin lighting up his tan face. The other, slightly shorter and thinner, and paler as well, just grinned slightly, his hands in his pockets. The girl appeared to be inspecting them.
Eva smiled tentatively and Maria waved back. They walked awkwardly over to where their cousins stood.

"Hi!" Eva managed in a slightly squeaky voice.

"Hi!!!" Romeo, the younger brother, taller and slightly stockier than his brother, exclaimed. The girls glanced at each other, unsure of what to say. Francisco broke the silence.

"The baggage area is this way." He jerked his head towards an escalator.

Eva gulped. She was 'slightly' frightened of escalators. The others had already headed that way and so she hurried to catch up. She paused again at the top. She tried to convince herself to get on- it didn't work. Apparently escalatorophobia is actually a thing.

Maria, half way down already, glanced up.

"Oh no. Eve, come on!"

Wide eyed, Eva shook her head.

"There has to be some stairs somewhere!" She called down. The 3 cousins looked up at her, silent and skeptical.

"i'll find them and be right down." Eva disappeared. Francisco sighed loudly.

"She won't get lost will she? I'd rather not lose my cousin before even getting it home." He asked Maria.

Maria was a bit taken aback. "Um, well..."

"Oh, Francis, can you at least make an effort at manners, for the first day they're here?" Sofie pleaded, despite the fact that she herself had been no paragon of polite behavior thus far.

 Francis grinned.

"It's the middle of the night Sofie, I'm not making any more effort at anything than I absolutely have to."

"There she is." Romeo announced. Eva hurried up.

"Sorry." She said, embarrassed.

"Ok. Baggage." Francis resumed his lead to the baggage area.

 After collecting their bags, the 5 of them headed out to the parking lot. A shiny, red sports car awaited them.

"It's mine." Romeo announced proudly, opening the door for them. "Oh, wait, put your things in the trunk." They did so, then got into the impeccably clean vehicle.

"Wow." Eva remarked. "Your car is really... nice!"

"I know." Romeo said, happily, as he started the engine. Opera began to play loudly. Francis groaned, even more loudly.

"Romeo PLEASE with the opera. It's 3 in the morning."

 Romeo ignored him, so he turned it down himself. Romeo glared at him over his glasses. He seemed about to turn it back up, when Sofie, in the back seat between the sisters, coughed pointedly.

 The boys turned, then with expressions of realization, looked at each other and fell silent.
They rode on this way for a few moments, the awkward silence broken only by the now soft opera music.

"I like opera too." Eva said finally. Romeos face lit up.

"You do?!?" He said excitedly. He turned around and looked at her, his huge dark brown eyes glued
to her face. Eva looked uncomfortably back. She smiled slightly.

"Yeah." She said finally. His smile widened, an he was about to say something else when Francis interrupted.

"Watch the road."

 Romeo turned back around, but first smiled at Francis happily- and a bit triumphantly. Sofie just rolled her eyes and leaned against her seat.
   

Now it was Maria's turn to worry.

by Nina D. Please tell me what you think!!!(note, this is my first draft)

10 comments:

  1. Wow, I really like it! :) I'm checking out your blog today for the first time. You have almost my exact style! Keep posting chapters. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks! Neat, what is your blog called?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I actually don't have a blog yet. I'm hoping to start one pretty soon, but I'm not sure about it yet. (I am totally not a tech person and know very little about the hows and whys) But if I ever start one, maybe I'll ask you for help. =) Oh, and I LOVE writing too, I am currently working on a couple books...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, ok! I would be glad to help:) I'm no expert, though:) I'd love to read what you are writing:)

      Delete
    2. Thanks! Maybe I'll show it to you some day...if it ever gets done! =)

      Delete
  4. Nice! I can tell you really love these characters. I guess maybe some things I would change would be to cut down on some of the adverbs and hyperbole. Your dialogue is really nice-it sounds natural and even though it's only the first chapter the reader can already start to tell the characters apart just by their dialogue, but it's not overdone. :) I'm excited to read more of this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the feedback! I truly, truly appreciate it!! I do love the characters:) Thank you again so much!!!

      Delete
  5. I like this chapter. Very natural, and I'm already starting to get a feel for the characters! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks!! Oo good, that makes me happy:)

    ReplyDelete